maybe not. i just got back from work trips to chicago and colorado. it was a great trip filled with productive work, family, old friends, snowboarding, and new friends. however, whenever i come back from these trips and return to my luxurious round bed, i feel a bit sad.

question: why was i so happy during this trip and why am i so unhappy when i return home?

it's weird, you know. i didn't want to leave for this trip in the first place. i had so much to do at work, and so much more to do before i could begin to be ready for this trip. i was so comfortable at home. but now that the trip has past and was successful, i didn't want to leave. i used to thrive at leaving my comfort zone, but now i just dread it. i don't understand... me.

i see some of my friends and how they're so happy with their lives. it makes me jealous. i don't necessarily want their lives, but i want their feelings of happiness and contentment.

i have an answer to my question. answer: when i'm on trips, i'm running away from all my negative feelings.

ugh. i need to learn how to be happy with what i have and to stop taking advantage of all my blessings. arrghhhh...  ¶ 10:14 PM